yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
