oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
