me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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