I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I am midnight drunk by noon
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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