Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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