the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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