To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
