Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
