You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
