can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
