Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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