no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
