Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize