Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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