On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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