ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
