You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
