Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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