How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
