Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize