I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
