I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
