I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
