Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
