Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
