well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
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