The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
These tits shall not be calmed
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize