Tell her she can't have a vagina
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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