quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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