I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
