I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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