My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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