your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
