ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
