i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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