Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize