I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
