Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
