no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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