no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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