So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
