I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
