how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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