She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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