so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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