Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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