So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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