its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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