how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
