You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
