Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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