I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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