I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
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