If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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