i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
