Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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