i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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