jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
My ass is underappreciated
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
