i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize