Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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