I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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