just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
