wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
