OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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