Sponge bath it is.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
