Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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