So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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