your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
